Taking the Poison


It’s been said that trash talking your ex-spouse to your children is like taking poison and hoping the other person dies. Study after study has shown that trash talking your ex is harmful to your children. So why do so many people do it?

Divorce is a highly emotional process. Many people try to convince their children of the “rightness” of their position in the litigation. They claim that the children have a right to know the truth. But they lose sight of the fact that children do not want to take a position. They love both their parents, regardless of whose fault it is for the breakup of the marriage.

The bottom line is this: Children do not need to know anything about the litigation between their parents. Children should be free to love both their parents. New York courts have made it very clear that it is the primary role of the custodial parent to foster a relationship between the children and the non-custodial parent. It can be very difficult to take the high road, especially when your ex is trash talking you to the children. But it is the right thing to do. Remember, you may no longer be spouses, but you will always be parents.